My life, my world, my thoughts | |
From wanting, to becoming, to being; life is about changes. I am both the subject and the object of these changes. I may cause the changes, sometimes. Environment changes me without my approval, most of the times. These past few months have been the hardest time of my life. Months of uncertainties, I fell as if I am going backward while everyone else is moving forward. Nothing works according to my plan, I even questioned God’s existence in this world for me. However, these past few months has taught me lots of important lessons which couldn’t be obtained from any learning institute, even from the best well known university. One and foremost, I learned that nothing happened without a reason. For every disaster I experienced, there’s always lessons learned. Something really valuable I wouldn’t have realized, should the disaster never occur. I learned to appreciate the presence of those who really care for me while I went through what-i-called the hardest phase of my life. When frustration, anger and desperation were your only companies, these people came and provided me with comfort, hope, and confidence. I learned that God is somewhere out there watching out for all of us. It’s just sometimes He is very subtle that only with faith you can understand His mighty plan. But He’s there and He care. Anyhow, I am enjoying going through this continuous life transformation. I can’t wait for the time for me to achieve being somebody I want to become. Lesson learned!! Whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you funnier. Face your reality jungle, and try your hardest not to get killed. Vancouver, August 15 2008, Me, The Transformer A cool short message for us to reflect and think about..
School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Tears: The hydraulic force by whichmasculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Well, it's been a while since I checked my multiply, and yet so many things have changed. Yeah, I am still on my year off, and I am busy taking courses and standardized tests and making essays for my application to graduate school. After few weeks contemplating about what I really want to do for my future, I decided to go on and pursue Occupational Therapy as my career. Want to know why? Well, let me finish my personal statement first, then I'll tell you why. Haha.
I know I am not at a place to be content with what I have accomplished now, but heck... I am soo happy. I still have the ability to love, and I have people who love and care for me. Especially someone in Chicago whom I miss so much, his meticulousness never ceases to make my day. He turns my pessimism into somewhat optimism, through his weird and again meticulous way of talking. His persistence amazes me, and somehow I learn so much from him. Whoever says opposites attract definitely overestimate the power of similarities.
Anyone here pursuing a degree or career in OT? Please please contact me. Well, off I go.. back to my essay..
Toronto, January 25, 2006 YEah.. I agreee! let's!!!!!!! (fyi, i don't blame my parents, just the stupid gene combo i get). I want to gain some weight... I do whatever it takes to gain weight.. eat a lot, eat constantly, and even to drink always homo Milk every morning and before i go to bed for about 1 month.. none works! *sigh* I'm always against anything "LITE": skim milk, lite spam, reduced fat stuffs..altho if you think about it, those stuffs are still healthier, since being skinny doesn't guarantee you from having those problems, e.g hi cholesterol, hi BP, etc. Hm.. except for the milk part; homo is the best.. skim milk tastes like water with milk drops.. besides, milk is good for you right right? let's fight osteoporosis..! Got milk?:P:P:P. ooh, and lite bacon, with less salt... coz it tastes better! So, quoting from FRIENDS, seconds in the mouth, forever in the hips (sth like that.. gimme a break) is not trueeee..:S:S:S:S
So I think it is my metabolism..my hormonal systems.. and my stress perhaps(especially during exam period)? I hate it when people say.. 'I think u lost some weight'.. argh (it is just as annoying as hearing ppl saying ur gaining some weight, believe it or not) the worse is when u meet someone from your past, and they say "wow u get more and more skinny.. u should eat more". Seriously, what am I supposed to do? Put more layers so I look fatter (Thus, I love winter.. muahahaha.. I will look fatter.. oops).
hmmm. latin latin latin.. let's start studying!!1 and worry about the genetic problem later!
*mood of the nite: pengen makan bakmoy tante kantin SMUK yg pake sambel petis, tadi cari resep di internet ga ada yg ala jember.. n steak ala papa..* To graduate or not to graduate.. that is not the question.. haha. Finally, no more exams or assignments. Well, not really.. there is still one more report for my cellular physiology lab project.
Relieved? Iya.. Happy? Iya.. Excited? Iyaa...Nervous? Iya juga.. The next question came to mind was... What to do? I mean, what can I do with only a bachelor degree in Neuroscience (and minor in Psychology?). People from my department usually pursue their career further in Neuroscience and end up in the research field, or go to Med School and become a doctor (damn, I hate smart people.. *grin*). However, if you only have a bachelor degree in Neuroscience, you are pretty much screwed. sigh..to work (get paid) in the labs, you require at least Master degree. Even better if you are a Ph.D or even a post doc. I guess that makes lots of sense.. I mean who wants to hire a bachelor if they can get lots of volunteer (undergrad students) for free? (Even there is more supplies of volunteers than demand.. is that the correct term:P) Hahaha. I was (and still am) a lab assistant in 2 different labs last year, and I can see the competition is nerve-wrecking. I know that the two are pretty much in a symbiotic relationship: the prof gets a manual labor (aka lab slave) and new ideas (most undergrads are very idealistic), while the students get the experience and reference (which is really important if you want to go to grad school).
So should I go to grad schoo? Perhaps.. Not this year, for sure.. The campus atmosphere sickens me already, I need to take at least 1 year break. And I need to make money. (Translation: Kebagusan.. hiks.. lulus S1 aja udah seneng banget, n berat badan udah turun mulu krn stress n makan ga teratur. belum lagi malu ah minta uang mulu sama ortu. deu beda bener translationnya).
Hm.. I'll figure out something.. Now, I just need to focus on my thesis and presentation, and my paper. And of course my plans for the summer.. here they are:
1. Convocation!! haha.. finally got to wear the gown n toga. haha. Mommy, daddy.. I hope you guys are proud of me! I will try my best to make you even prouder after this.
2. Take GRE test! Uhoh.. it means more work and more studying.. arrrhh...
3. Get a driver license.. (sobs..ga kayak diindo yang bisa langsung jadi hihi)
4. Eurotrip!!! OMG I am so excited to do so..
5. Continue being a lab slave (haha.. sad but fun. I already enjoyed the experiment I am doing now--> to study disgust and its evolutionary expension through electromyography observation).
6. Maybe start doing yoga or some kind of sports (ga niat bener)
Well.... sigh.. work work work!!!
Wish me luck! A job.. I desire
A strict punishment toward racism.. I demand
You.. I can live without
A normal loving and caring relationship.. I desire
Your family not to come between us... I demand
You.. I couldn't live without (till I realize it's time)
Reality sucks.. you came to sweep me off the floor just to watch me fall miserably.
Here I am, with all my hearts and hopes up but prejudice and paranoia about what is going to happen in the future. I hate you, then I love you, then I don't know what to do. The truth is, I am confused. I know I shouldn't push you or even asking you to choose between two valuable things you love the most in your life, but I am hurt. Really really hurt.. it hurts so bad that I don't even know what to do.
Tell me what you want, and I will let you go.
Let me go, you, the best thing that ever happened in my life.
Toronto, May 1, 2006
"The phaomnneil pweor of the hmuan mnid"
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but can raed wrod as a wlohe.
Fcukng Amzanig
Have you ever been in a situation, where you just feel you've made a huge mistake and it is too late to turn back and change it? Of course, we are only human! That's the only reason why we human beings have REGRETS. We said "I wish..", "If only I knew it would turn out this way, I would have Bela Bela Bela....." For me personally, it happens so often now and then.
But, whatever doesn't kill you only make you stronger and better person. I so agree with that saying. It goes along with another saying, experience is the best teacher in life. You learn, you live, no matter whatever decision you have made,- good or bad, wise or not-, you'll live (except when you decide to end your life aka commiting suicide)! Life is about making decisions, be they big or small. You decide to skip breakfast in order to avoid being late go to work, you choose to have cheeseburger instead of pork ramen, you decide to go to university A instead of B, and finally... you decide to break up with your bf/gf of few years because you think your life is better off without him/her.
So, how do you know if you have choose the BEST option? You'll never know!Well, you(think you) 'll have regrets.Reflect on it (mourn for a while if you must), save it somewhere in your memory system, and learn from it so in the future you don't make the same mistake again.Life goes on. The truth is, when you made a mistake, you THINK the other option is better than what you have picked, because you'll never know how the other option is going to turn out. You wish you picked University B over A, but you don't know what obstacles you have to face if you stay in that university. Maybe your life is gonna suck more, you'll never find out. So IMHO (in my humble opinion), the BEST OPTION is to always consider every possible outcomes and consequences out of the 2 choices, pray, MAKE A DECISION, and be ready for all the consequences! Grow up, live with it..
Hm.. I am such a hypocrite, easier said than done, right people???? Hehehe.. so, Okay, what does my whole speech (rather BSing too) have to do with the song lyric I posted above? It has no connection whatsoever.. I just happened to like the song so much, that I want to put it here. I make no sense, but I guess that is not something new. I heard the comments all the time: You don't make any sense, "ga nyambung blas", etc etc. Lol, what else can I say, that's just my nature.. haha.. no regret on that part..
This blog is written by someone who's bored.. who has nothing to do during Christmas break. Hahaha..And I guess, whoever read my blog, you must be in the same boat as me..:D:D:D.
Last.. Merry Christmas everyone! Let the bells jingling..!!! Let the night be holly!! Let the santa claus kiss mommies.. whatever..
My room, December 24, 2005, 2:14am | |
